BUS STOP

They left me.

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I

You were in the stars tonight

You were in the flowers at spring

I saw you when that lady smiled at me

You were there when that cute doggie went up to me

You’re in the fortune cookie I opened last night after dinner telling me all my wishes will come true

You’re in every good things that has happened to me

The sky is crying today

But I think it’s a happy cry or an “I miss you” cry

I like to think you’re still here …

The H Word

I don’t use the word “hate”

Dislike, not bad, not good

Can you really hate something so much?

Like the stale pizza you had for breakfast

Or the old coffee that the barista served you when they promised you it’s fresh

I only know the word “hate” when my body is in the biggest form

Crawling out of my own skin

Burning down my own house

Digging up my own flesh

Separating my soul apart from my body

Hating myself when I’m supposed to be loving myself first

That’s when the words “hate” flows through my body

I am my own poison as well as the solution

But hating is a battle I always almost won

I don’t use “hate” much

But this morning I felt it written all over my walls when I looked in the mirror

It’s the itch of wanting to scratch my eyeballs out to unsee

My body was my safe place

But why can’t I give space to forgive

Forgive me for hating me

Self love isn’t the easiest form of love

LUNGS

Midnight tears

Bold red lipstick is covering the quivering lips

Ticking clock echoes

The loudest voices are the seconds

A thirst for a cloud the flower brings

Sweet smell of the nature

Brings me to a euphoric adventure

Pauses that I needed

Knowing I’ll be back to now

Longing for senses

Calms my fluttering heart

The taste of tranquility fills my lungs

The agony of waiting for yesterday to come

I never realized raindrops can make music

 

Summer

What happens when distance can’t keep with us anymore?

When inches turn into miles

And smiles turn into cries

Summer wasn’t long as I expected

A long lost travel nothing a good cry can’t fix

I’m swimming in the sea of our differences

Watch me drown as I scream for help

You can’t fix a broken glass with a tape

But I still put band-aids on my cuts to cover up the pain I can’t escape

But it heals faster

I wonder what healed feels like

I wonder if it means a peaceful sleep sweet dreams

Try balancing with one foot without sinking

Our bridges made out of paper no wonder we didn’t last together

Is this what the distance makes us out to be?

I mean we never really fight right?

We never agreed either but see we lasted together

We can only stretch an elastic band far enough until we hurt each other

Again nothing a good cry can’t fix

 

Spine

My back has been killing me lately

I’m pretty sure it’s my bad posture

I’ve been slouching more and more

Been showing off the introvert in me more

Been carrying a heavy load of insecurities

I tried to stretch it out

Just like I tried to fake my confidence

Sit straight walk straight chin up

But can only last like half a day

I get tired right away

Fake smile fake laugh

Nod back smile back

Maybe I curl up on my bed too much

Or maybe because I don’t sleep too much

Or maybe I sleep too much

Sometimes my backpack feels heavy

I guess that’s another reason too

Or maybe sometimes my heart feels heavy

Specially these days I always find a clump in my throat

In those days I find it difficult to swallow